Even in Death
by Cain Boudicca
Summary: Times can be happy, times can be sad. Unfortunately not everything can be happy, so much as it may be wished.


**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man; all I own is the poem/note near the bottom, and my characters Tory/Cade.**

* * *

><p>Lavi paced the halls of the facility. It hadn't been too long, in reality, however to him it had seemed like an eternity. The woman he was engaged to was currently in one of these rooms, about to give birth to their baby boy.<p>

Though he would not admit it, fear was laced behind his happiness. He knew complications could arise, and hoped with all his heart that they wouldn't. He glanced out a window; the sky was still dark. It was very early in the morning, and rain drizzled in the night. Thunder softly rumbled, far out in the distance, like the faint cooing of a summer's breeze. How much longer would it take?

Heading back to the main waiting room, Lavi sat down, fumbling with his hands. He couldn't keep still, despite the faint hint of weariness he still wore. All his nights of staying up to watch her, making sure she was alright throughout the pregnancy, was worth it. It was catching up to him, but at this moment, he didn't care.

The next thing Lavi realized, was that his shoulder was lightly being shaken. His eyes snapped open, and he glanced around. He was still in the waiting room. He mentally cursed; he hadn't meant to have fallen asleep. He now looked up, to the woman who had waken him. She was smiling faintly, and murmured, "Sir, it's time. Are you ready to meet your son?"

At those words, Lavi's heart sped. Fully awake now, he nodded to the nurse, and stood up without another second of hesitation. However, he did not keep quiet. "Is she okay? Is he okay? Did everything go well?" Unable to hide it, Lavi knew his anxiety must have shown like lamps in the night behind his eye.

The nurse, expecting such questions, smiled comfortingly at him. She knew from the questions he was only a first time father, after all. If he hadn't been nervous, then she'd have been a little worried. "Yes, they're both fine. Your fiance is a bit exhausted; but that's nothing too unusual. Your son is perfectly healthy, as well."

Lavi let out a soft sigh of relief at the news, and smiled, all hopes returning. His family was in good hands, and he knew it now. Soon, the two arrived to the room. The nurse nodded towards the door, expecting that Lavi would want a little bit of alone time with his soon-to-be wife and his son. Smiling still, Lavi walked inside.

The two, even before this, has decided upon the boy's name. Cade. Walking beside the two, the red-head kneeled down, his eye meeting that of Tory's. She smiled tiredly, and murmured, "Meet Cade, my dear... He's finally joined us." Lavi chuckled a little, moving his hand to press it lightly against Tory's. "It's about time he's come... We've been waiting so long. Isn't that right, little guy?" Lavi leaned over, so that he could gently place a kiss on both of their heads.

Tory smiled a little more at her lover's remark. "He's always been with me, but never you... He probably just couldn't wait to see his papa. He wanted to see what all my heart's fuss was about." At first, Lavi didn't reply, only gazing between his two loves in life, his feelings renewing with each look. "If that's the case, I'm honored." Lavi finally remarked, a playful tone in his voice. A soft giggle came from the catlike girl's throat, but she nodded slightly, "But of course, my dear... But of course."

* * *

><p>When the new parents were able to bring their child home with them, they made absolutely sure he was all settled in, before all else. Tory still seemed exhausted, and Lavi tried to get her to rest, but she refused. She felt a bond deeper than any for her son, and knew it was still her duty to care for him. She had the instinct of a nurturing mother, and would not rest easy until she knew her son was comfortable first.<p>

However, that would not be deemed easy. As most newborns would be, Cade was very figity. He right away needed to be fed, despite how he had drank earlier, and Tory obliged. She closed her eyes as her son suckled quietly, and she held him as tenderly as she could. Though she refused to admit it, she still felt so weak from the birth. So tired...

Lavi, however, was in the baby's room, making sure everything was in order for when the baby needed to rest.

As her baby drank, the young mother began to hum a quiet lullaby to her child. No response came to her, at first, until the boy soon began to slow in his feeding, and eventually, stop. He had been lulled into a light sleep against his mother's chest. Tory slowly opened her eyes as she felt the change, and began to smile again as she watched him sleep. His soft breathing offered her a sense of comfort.

Not too much later, Lavi returned to their room to witness the scene. In his absense, his wife, too, had fallen asleep. Even in her sleep, though, she did not let go of the boy who was cuddled against her chest.

At first, the man debated on his actions, before finally walking to the bedside and carefully taking his son from the woman. She seemed to twitch slightly in protest against the action, but remained asleep. Lavi then took the child into his own room, and carefully set him down in his crib. He then looked around, taking a small rabbit plush that Tory had picked out before, and set it beside Cade.

Then, the new father went back out to lay beside his wife, and gently caress her shoulder as she slept. Despite her exhaustion, she seemed to be in a lighter sleep, and he was careful so as not to wake her. However, despite his efforts, she awoke anyway. When she spoke, her voice was groggy, as if she had woken from a very deep slumber. "Lavi..?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Is Cade still asleep..?" She thought she knew the answer, but she had wanted to make sure. Lavi smiled in reponse, and nodded. "Yes, he's still sound asleep."

"Good... He's comfortable, then. ...Lavi, I'm really tired."

"Then sleep. I'll wake you if either of us needs you." Tory, feeling comforted by those words, nodded slowly. "You better promise..." Before he could, however, she was already out.

* * *

><p>At least a week had passed. Lavi started to notice a change in his wife, or, rather, a lack thereof. Where she had used to be so open, happy, she now barely wanted to move. Whenever she did, he noticed her wince, despite trying to hide it. She was in pain, and her movements were so far and few between...<p>

One morning, he had had enough of seeing her this way. He sat down beside her in bed while Cade was napping, and looked her dead in the eyes.

"Tory, what's wrong with you? Are you sick?"

His lover offered him a small smile, and shook her head. "No... I'm just really tired. That's all."

"Then why don't you let me care for Cade? Obviously, he'll need you for certain things, but the majority I can deal with." Lavi tried reasoning. However, his wife shook her head.

"Because, he's still my son. He's yours, too, but still mine. It's just in my instinct... To do what I can for him, while I can."

Her voice held resolve. Stubborn, but true resolve. Lavi sighed, before gently taking her hand in his own. "Are you sure you don't want a break?"

Unfortunately, but as he expected, she nodded in agreement. Again, the man sighed. Trying to reason with a mother about her child seemed to be impossible, even when it was his own.

* * *

><p>From that day, Tory refused to show any pain or signs of exhaustion. In her heart, she knew something was wrong with her; but for her love, and for her son, she would be her normal self again. She would not let anything slip past her, not even the smallest bit of body language.<p>

However, she knew the day she dreaded was near. Lavi didn't, Cade wouldn't, but she did. She pretended to sleep at night, now, but did not. When she knew her husband had fallen asleep, done with his vigil of watching over her, she would leave the room and enter another. Whichever room was closest, yet not the baby's. She would sit in the room, and cry.

She didn't like it, but she did. She cried for Lavi, for Cade, for her sister and soon to be brother-in-law. She cried for all the family and friends she had gained, knowing that now that she and Lavi had ran away from the Order, she'd never even get to say goodbye to them. She knew she'd never see them again.

Yet, when that sun rose the next morning, she would be waking in bed beside Lavi, all signs of her night before vanished from her face. However, it always remained in her heart.

* * *

><p>One morning, a few weeks later, Tory awoke to see Lavi, surprisingly out of bed far before herself. He did not seem to be in the room, and he heard nothing in the house. Cade, too, must still be asleep.<p>

She wanted to check, however, and began to sit up. Or, so she thought. Though she tried, she couldn't move. A pain ripped through her stomach, down through her lower body. She opened her mouth to cry out, but just as quick, she snapped it shut. If her child was still asleep, she would not wake him, no matter how badly she hurt.

She panted as if she were a dog out in the sun from her efforts to keep her cries back. Though no noise came out, tears silently dripped from her eyes. Where was Lavi? It couldn't end like this...

Even more tears began to spill from her eyes, and she wished so desperately to be able to wipe them away, before she was discovered in such a broken state. She tried to lift her arm, and though it still hurt a little, it was tolerable. She did as she had wished, and wiped those warm tears away. However, they continuously taunted her by spilling, and a soft sob choked past her lips.

Soon, she could cry no more. Her eyes became dry; the feeling of tears threatening to spill remained, but refused to come. Deathly silence stayed in the room, Tory's only companion. Her breathing felt weak, but she refused to give up... Not until she could say what she knew needed to be said.

Though it was only a few minutes, it seemed like an eternity until Lavi finally reentered the room. He held a single white rose; Tory's favorite color of rose. He felt it would be a nice thing for her to wake to, and something she had deserved. However, he noticed her appearance, and rushed to the bedside, placing the rose on a bedside table.

"Tory? Tory, are you alright?" She only glanced at him for a moment; her eyes were watery, her complexion even paler than normal. Her hand was shaking a little, as if with effort, before she gently took his hand and smiled. Though it seemed rough on her, she murmured, keeping her voice as steady as possible,

"Lavi... My love. It's time I go. I felt this coming on, but I had hoped it would pass. I'm just too weak now. I must not have healed properly, or something... But even now, I feel myself dwindling... Before I go, I must say something."

Tears began to slip from Lavi's eye, even though he could feel the truth in her statement, he shook his head in disbelief. "No, dear. You'll be perfectly fine. Just go to sleep; you'll wake up just fine, and-"

"No, Lavi, I will not. If I sleep now, I will not wake. I have plenty of time to sleep, later... But, now... I must speak. I love you, Lavi. I've said this so many times before, and even now, I promise you that. Soon, however... I will be unable to tell you that, anymore. So I want you to always remember it.

And, Lavi... When he's older, and Cade asks, 'Where's mommy?' Tell him, 'Mommy told me to tell you that, even though we can't see her, she loves you so much. And even though you can't see her, she's always with you, and she's so proud of what a big boy you are.'"

Lavi's grip on her hand grew a bit tighter, but he nodded. Though he tried not to, tears continued to slip from his eye, much more rapidly at his wife's words. She smiled just a little more, her voice growing weaker with each breath. "Lavi... Don't cry. Not now. I want my last memory to be of you... Smiling. Please, smile for me. Smile for Cade."

The man attempted his best smile; knowing it was his dying wife's final wish. With that, she moved her other hand over his, and whispered, "Thank you... Now I can leave and remember that charm, which is what won me over in the beginning... Thank you." And with those final words, the young, new mother, closed her eyes. At first, it seemed she had drifted into a light doze, but soon, her chest stopped moving.

Her breath had stopped with her heart, never to breath the air of the world again.

Finally, Lavi broke down and let himself cry for his lost love. The flower beside the torn lovers, rather than a gift, would now be the first mark upon the girl's gravestone.

* * *

><p>It took a good month for Lavi to pick up the guts to go through his lover's old belongings; though he had still not stopped greiving, he tried to be cheerful for his baby boy. He searched again through the box of items he had collected; and came upon Tory's old scrapbook. She had brought it from her old home, and the two had since skimmed through it, looking upon her memories, as well as some of his.<p>

Something inside him made him pick it up again; his hand lightly traced the front cover, feeling the worn leather. After a few seconds, he opened the book, and was surprised to see a new piece of paper, lodged between that and the first page. That hadn't been there before... Soon, though, he realized it had been written by Tory, and he picked up the note, and began to read.

'Today, I see the end.

Like a shadow, it overwhelms me.

A soft light shimmers before my eyes,

Beconing me forward,

Towards my untimely departure.

Today, I see so much.

It flashes through my heart,

My soul,

My mind.

It makes me remember.

Today, the end is so near.

The feelings tear through my body,

I see the vastness,

Fast approaching me.

It comes.

Today, I'll see no more.

I've left, now.

I will not be able to return.

The sun's setting has led me away,

Away from even you.

My time has come,

My will ignored.

No tears can be shed,

So much as I want them,

No comfort may be offered.

Today, I see your face.

For the last time, I can see you.

Do not cry, or my heart will break.

I know it is over, but do not fear...

I will always be near.

You may hold my memory dear,

As I will hold yours.

Even in death,

Will I cherish you.

Until the fateful day...

Tonight,

I'll give my last breath,

And in that last breath,

My final words, to you, I will promise,

'Even in death, my love, Will our love flourish.'

_Even in death, my love, _

_Will our love flourish, _

_My hand will hold yours,_

_And I will depart, With one more smile,_

_Knowing our promises, eternal.'_

As he finished the note from his lost beloved, Lavi held it close to his heart, hugging it as if it were his last link to her. However, he knew that not true; just as she had always said to him, and proven in that note... Their love was eternal, and she would be waiting for him. Until then, he had a son to care for.

His heart seemed to lighten, and a faint smiled crossed his lips. He felt at ease, again. Though he still felt the wounds of her departure, he also felt as if her soul would guide him, until it was his turn.

He set the note back in the book, and closed it up, before setting the book down on the bed, beside the box. With that, he turned, and left the room. He had a son to look after.


End file.
